@JimmerThatisAll: It's raining men because the aliens are returning the abductees in the most compelling way possible.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@noog: Thanks for wishing me a Happy Monday, you've changed my entire outlook. I don't hate Monday anymore. I hate you. Happy New Sworn Enemy.
@SortaBad: Age 15: I wanna live in a mansion Age 25: Ok a big house, in a nice neighborhood Age 35: *googles 'Best Months to Live Outside'*
@SortaBad: tonight at the bar, ask a woman if you can buy her a drink. If she says yes, hand that lucky lady a Starbucks gift card and walk away
@thatdutchperson: [date with girl I met at the park] Waiter: is everything ok, sir? Me:*fighting back the tears* Her:*sigh* he expected me to bring my dog.