@JimmerThatisAll: It's raining men because the aliens are returning the abductees in the most compelling way possible.
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@slennonhugs: once while i was camping in Florida a raccoon got in my car and long story short if you see a raccoon driving a 97 Saturn Wagon DM me
@tourettzgoth: Keep an identical glass of vodka next to the glass of water on your bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette
@bazecraze: It's only been a few days, but I'm starting to forget everything I knew about Mitch Romley.
@ConanOBrien: Sorry you didn’t win Best Picture, “Mad Max: Fury Road,” but if Trump wins the election, you can re-submit for “Best Documentary.”