@JimmerThatisAll: It's raining men because the aliens are returning the abductees in the most compelling way possible.
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@ericsshadow: "GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE" KID: *goes kicking and screaming* TEEN: You can't do this, I have plans tonight ADULT: Thank you so much
@Robert_Beau: My boss accused me of sticking my finger in his BD cake in the break room fridge, but he is completely wrong, it wasn't my finger.
@TheToddWilliams: Scientists at the Federal Helium Reserve indicate they're storing a billion cubic meters of helium gas. It's a lot funnier when they say it.
@JuliaChildCIA: "I have found our arguments quite useful - almost as useful as those I had with my father." - Spock and the guy I end up marrying.