@sparklepants4: its raining men! hallelu..*thud* omg are you ok? *thud* oh sweet jesus! *thud* *thud* oh the horror! *thud* WHY GOD? WHYYYY??
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@MatCro: [phone sex] GF: Tell me you want me ME: I want you badly GF: How badly? ME: I want you [checking thesaurus in a panic] haphazardly
@Darlainky: What he said, "Let's just drop it." What I heard, "I can't think of a single way to win this argument, I bow to your wit and intelligence."
@AbbyHasIssues: 1. Get in hammock. 2. Relax. 3. Try and get out of hammock. 4. Panic. 5. Don't fight it and just accept that this is where you live now.
@KateWhineHall: I don't care what anybody says, my six hours of Black Friday shopping saved me at least $7.50.