@rickkondell: Its real cute how pedestrians confuse “right of way” with immortality.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@RobertManchild: [company meeting] Manager: $5000 in office supplies have gone missing. We are making some changes. Me: [in paper clip chainmail, sweating]
@LimeyTheGreat: My youngest son can now reach the light switches, so don't come over to my house, unless you're really into raves or want to have a seizure.
@AnkCoupleTO: *first date* Me: Tell me more about you Her: *crazy eyes* WELL I HAVEN'T STABBED ANYONE LATELY Me: *deletes Tinder* Let's get married!