@Fickle_Filly: It's rude to upstage the bride on her wedding day but that's exactly what's going to happen when I burst into flames as I enter the church.
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@hunz74: "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" Me: "Sometimes?" "Are you smarter than a 16 year old?" Me: "Always."
@Vodkantots: The greatest thing about Christmas is how it teaches kids to be selfish little shits on someone else's birthday.
@bobvulfov: DONALD TRUMP (45 minutes into watching wall-e): this film is not what i hoped it would be