@TheMichaelRock: It's sad that we live in a world where we'll add a word to the dictionary if stupid people use it enough.
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@maurex23: Top 5 birth control methods 1. pills 2. hysterectomy 3. jean jackets 4. crocs 5. putting ketchup all over the fries instead of on the side
@behindyourback: Choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life because that field isn't hiring.
@AtticusFinch79: I don't mean to brag but my stalker has OCD so he trims my bushes while he's hiding in them waiting for me to get home.
@mostunladylike: [Record Shop] Me: Hi, have you got anything by the Doors? Shopkeeper: No, we have to keep all exits clear in case of emergencies.