@TheMichaelRock: It's sad that we live in a world where we'll add a word to the dictionary if stupid people use it enough.
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@KeetPotato: GF: "you're so childish" me: "it's my day too linda" [we sit in silence] wedding planner: "so is that a yes or a no on the bouncy castle?"
@causticbob: My wife and I have agreed on a trial separation. The kids aren't to keen, but my wife and I just don't want them anymore.
@AlexRogaski: [Me as 911 Operator] *phone rings* I wait for it to stop ringing and text back "what's up"
@MartaEffing: Just saw a five year old in a track suit & a gold chain. His nana didn't think it was funny when I asked him if he could hook up some blow.