@bridger_w: It's Saturday night and I just saw a guy with a ponytail and tinted lenses. Somewhere, a tarantula is home alone
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@whereami18: A woman just asked me to "unpark her car" and now I'm searching urban dictionary to see what I really just agreed to do
@2tickytacky: OMG. My wife's boyfriend made such a fuss when I told his parents at dinner about how noisy those two are in bed.
@WilliamAder: Usually takes me two or three tries to correctly aim the remote at the TV, if anyone was thinking of challenging me to a duel.