@jackmackenroth: It's saying something when you marry Charles Manson and you look like the crazy one.
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@Jeff_G_Nixon: [1st date] HER: do you like charades? MIME: [thumbs up] HER: well? MIME: [nodding 'yes'] HER: hello? MIME: [shooting self with finger gun]
@nbadag: [movie theater] TRAILER ANNOUNCER: how far will one man go.....to protect what he loves ME: [turning to person behind me] pretty far i bet
@NikiWithIssues: I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help.
@TheRomanParker: Oh, you like Five Guys hamburgers more than In-N-Out? *unfollows *blocks *stews *hires assassin on Craigslist *unblocks to monitor situation