@GhantaGuy: It's so annoying when you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them and they don't accept your friend request.
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@kirstiealley: I thought I found a baby owl today that needed help. He was an adult pigmy owl who let me pick him up then clawed and bit me. He is free now
@NYC_Blonde: If someone specifies that you're book-smart and not street-smart or street-smart but not book-smart, they're calling you stupid.
@UrFavAsianGuy: I ate my dog because it ate my homework. Just kidding, I ate it because I'm Asian.
@StellaRtwot: 6 pack abs on a guy are nice but it probably means that he won't get drunk & rob a convenient store of cheese curls w/me at 3am, so no.