@sixthformpoet: It’s so awkward when a bird arrives back at its nest and the worms in its mouth realise that wasn’t just a free aerial tour of the city.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jctwritesstuff: I'm sorry I said your baby looks like a hairless hamster. But in my defense, you shouldn't have had a hairless hamster for a baby.
@jonnysun: a person who loves cats is not a cat person theyre a dog person who loves cats. a cat person is sombody who is completley apathetic to cats
@murrman5: [to pharmacist getting my pills that make me stop talking about ET] long day? "ugh I can't wait to go home" know who else wanted to go home