@NurseKimaaa: It's so awkward when a man texts you to come over and you have to pretend like you weren't already inside their house.
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@Angrea: I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs...But I totally trust a dog when it doesn't like a person.
@ValeeGrrl: [at son's Little League game] ME: which one's yours OTHER MOM: the pitcher. You? ME: the one performing Lord of the Dance in left field
@markedly: ME: This man's robbing me COP: No he's not M: He was doing it a second ago *puts robber's hand on wallet* come on why aren't you robbing now