@NurseKimaaa: It's so awkward when a man texts you to come over and you have to pretend like you weren't already inside their house.
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@jimmytorosian: [two hours into describing a criminal to a police sketch artist] ...But when he took off the mask, he just looked like a normal guy
@charliedelta7: McD's drive thru: Welcome back. Me: Welcome back? That's pretty presumptuous. MDT: ... M: ... MDT: The usual? Me: Yeah. Thanks Brenda.
@fro_vo: Mission Control: prepare to enter the vacuum of space Dog Astronaut: wait the what now