@globetrottgirl: It's so cold in south florida, I just saw an iguana kill a squirrel and use it as a scarf.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SveldtSmelt: I found where my mom hid the scissors, so everyone in my house woke up with a new haircut this morning.
@abbycohenwl: [marriage counseling] Wife: I just wish he wasn't so clingy Husband: YOU KNEW I WAS A BARNACLE, LINDA
@ObscureGent: Waiting for Bernie Sanders to come out from under the ring and hitting someone with a steel chair to claim the presidential belt.