@globetrottgirl: It's so cold in south florida, I just saw an iguana kill a squirrel and use it as a scarf.
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@sacca: Anyone who says "Let's all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.
@TheBoydP: What's it called when a super model wants to date an accountant? Wishful thinking. Obviously
@TinaraMinus10: DON'T YOU LIKE ME! I WANNA MARRY YOU! WHY AM I IN THE TRUNK! -and other things I hear from guys on first dates
@robfee: The story of Rudolph is a great way to let your kid know that bullies will keep torturing him until he's famous, then they'll be his friend.