@ieatanddrink: It's so cold out today in Wisconsin I just saw a snowman kill another snowman and crawl inside his body cavity
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@Reverend_Scott: Princess Peach: Something's different. You seem taller. Luigi wearing Mario's red overalls: No, nothing is different. It'sa me, Mario.
@XplodingUnicorn: My wife was out of town, so I had to run the morning routine by myself today. I learned a lot. For example, apparently I have two kids.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Relax, folks. The dentist apologized for killing #CecilTheLion after he found out Cecil was famous. He meant to murder a NON-famous lion.