@KeetPotato: It's so cute how all the free sandwiches in the fridge at work have little names.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LADaddy: There's an alternate universe where we are together and finally happy. And I probably forgot to take out the trash there, too.
@Firawesome: I told you I'm busy! Who are you going to believe, me or the last 20 tweets I posted?
@Darlainky: Nurse: You need to eat or you can't have your pain meds. Me: Do the thing. Nurse: Me: Nurse: *holding fork* [sigh]*makes airplane noise*
@ruinedpicnic: parent: why did you do this to my child willy wonka: well you see they tried to eat some chocolate on a tour of a chocolate factory they won