@SharpeBytes: It's so cute how you think wearing that cross around your neck exempts you from being a reasonable human being
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@WilliamAder: I know we're not supposed to say this, but our second black president looks just like our first black president to me.
@LegoGodzilla: [first date] GIRL: When you said "fitness freak" in your profile, this isn't what I expected HALF-MAN/HALF-TREADMILL: It was an old photo
@2questionable: Before kids: "I will make everything from scratch. We'll be so healthy." After kids: "Someone bring me my binder of takeout menus."