@JessObsess: It's so embarrassing when someone gets to second base with me and finds crumbs in my bra.
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@joe_binkley: Dad: My head hurts, it feels like wrongdad. Son: What's wrongdad? Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left.
@primawesome: Attack today with a positive attitude. Absolutely destroy it with good vibes. Murder its family with hope.
@TheMichaelRock: Foreigner: I wanna know what love is.. Me: It's a feeling you get when.. Foreigner: I want you to show me.. Me: Ok, like wow. We just met