@JessObsess: It's so embarrassing when someone gets to second base with me and finds crumbs in my bra.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ArfMeasures: 14yo: My voice keeps randomly changing DOCTOR: That's normal at your age 14yo: [Batman voice] Thank you doctor DOCTOR: That's not normal
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Taylor Swift tweeted a picture of her cat watching the Olympics and just as I suspected, Taylor's bedroom looks like a giant doily.
@StellaRtwot: When I hear "This call is being monitored for quality assurance" I think "Cool, let's see how bad this person wants their job."
@lucidchemistry: [in bed] her: u have done this before, right? me: yes, of course. measure twice, cut once her: what? me: what?