@Sean_Burgundy_: It's so frustrating when your hitman doesn't answer the phone after you've made amends with someone
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@JoleenDoreen: A guy asked me out! Well, a guy asked me if I was going to be the same place he is. FINE, my boss called to see if I was coming to work.
@Sickayduh: "What's this ticket, officer?" - Loitering "I didn't drop trash" - No. Loitering. "You talk funny" - It's not- "I'm putting this on Twoiter"
@dadjokehansolo: Ben: I'm trying to read, you're in my light Me: Because I am a Solo eclipse! Ben: Dad I swear to- Me: I am blocking the light of the son!
@aveuaskew: My dad only says I love you on special occasions like birthdays, holidays, and competency hearings.