@Sean_Burgundy_: It's so frustrating when your therapist tells you to go to your happy place then yells at you when you show up at her house
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@WildeThingy: Spider bucket list: 1. Eat flies 2. Don't get squashed by a crazy screaming lady when all I'm doing is eating flies 3. Meet Peter Parker
@moxieblogger: I use proper syntax and punctuation on all of my tweets, unless I am in danger of exceeding the 140 character limit... & then u no how it b
@vineyille: If you like piña coladas / Getting caught in the rain / Drink this piña colada / It was caught in the rain
@Midgetspar: My boss was all, "Do you know why I called you to the office, " and I was like, "I dunno is there a hidden security camera in the bathroom."