@Sean_Burgundy_: It's so frustrating when your therapist tells you to go to your happy place then yells at you when you show up at her house
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@trevso_electric: Between hating pork and launching themselves into enemy structures, Al Qaeda were the original Angry Birds.
@CatherineLMK: I'm dressing for the weather I desperately want, not the weather I currently have.
@thenatewolf: Guard: what do you want for your last meal? Me: anything? Guard: anything Me: the warden Guard: oooooo he ain't gonna like that...