@jazmasta: It's spooky how many kids look like their owners.
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@HeyZeus666: Intellectual. A man who can explain electricity but doesn't know how to screw in a light bulb.
@Reverend_Scott: WIFE: Please stop. ME: Stop what? WIFE: Singing in the shower. ME: What's the big deal? WIFE: You're scaring everyone at Home Depot.