@jazmasta: It's spooky how many kids look like their owners.
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@QueefTornado: "I'm tired of you pushing me around and talking behind my back." ----people in wheelchairs probably
@EndhooS: [Dinner with GFs parents] *Does shadow puppet of a bird* "Thats great but I asked what you do for a living?" Um *smooths tie* I'm unemployed
@Tmoney68: People always ask why I'm wearing a sombrero in my high school graduation pictures. Clearly, because it was my señor year.