@iLikeCatShirts: It's that scene from footloose where Kevin Bacon is angry dancing in the barn but it's me trying to do my taxes.
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@Mikecanrant: I just farted real loud and my car alarm went off. Some guy is stealing it but I wanted you guys to know about my fart. Be right back.
@Hey_Sascha: Nothing is quite as scary as hearing your doorbell ring on the same night you made a blood sacrifice to the dark lord.
@Reverend_Scott: [Fortune Teller] "I see great wealth, also danger." Oh. "And blue meth. Walt Jr. is crippled." Are you watching Breaki- "Jesse is so hot."