@iLikeCatShirts: It's that scene from footloose where Kevin Bacon is angry dancing in the barn but it's me trying to do my taxes.
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@librarianfonz: There are gravy trains and boats. I wonder what gravy did to get on a no-fly list.
@notacroc: DOCTOR: congratulations, it's a boy! *holds up baby tricycle* BICYCLE DAD: what the hell? BICYCLE MOM: *crying*
@Cpt_Burnout: Guy: "Do you have a lighter?" Me: "Yep" Guy: "You smoke?" Me: "No, you just never know when you're gonna need to light someone on fire."