@YoungNobler: It's the 20th anniversary of Infinite Jest and the 6th anniversary of my buying Infinite Jest and never getting around to reading it.
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@delusionaliam: "Hey! check out my new ink" *removes shirt, stands naked* "Dude!, I don't see anything" "It's invisible ink"
@FlyoverJoel: If people winked in real life as much as they do on the Internet, the world would be about 542.67% creepier.
@GingerHotDish: Me: (slightly intoxicated ) I don’t think our cat understands me at all. 16: Mom, put the guinea pig back in his cage please. You’re scaring him.