@Naked_Superman: It's the embarrassment, not the blunt force trauma that kills you when you're hit by a Smart car.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@CornOnTheGoblin: "do you have any pets" [remembers girls like sensitive guys] a cat "what's his name" [remembers girls also like tough guys] missile launcher
@BeerBatterBeard: The lack of paparazzi at this BBQ makes me think that my aunt can probably stop referring to her potato salad as "famous."
@JermHimselfish: Proper punctuation can be the difference between a tweet being well written and a tweet being well, written.