@Naked_Superman: It's the embarrassment, not the blunt force trauma that kills you when you're hit by a Smart car.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@copymama: You: Artfully arranges flowers in vase so the room looks nice Me: Artfully arranges garbage in trash so the kids don't see what I threw out
@stephenjmolloy: Jesus: "BRAINS!" *everyone looks scared* Jesus: "Just kidding! I'm fine, I'm fine."
@ScottLinnen: "Seek immediate medical help if you experience a resurrection lasting more than 2000 years."
@Abusitron: Minister: if anyone objects to this unio- Me: *raptor call* Groom: *raptor call* Guests: *chorus of raptor calls* *Bride gets devoured*