@EwaSR: it's the silliest best thing
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@SamSykesSwears: "If Bernie doesn't get the nom, I'm voting Trump." "Also, if McDonald's is out of chicken nuggets, I'm going to eat 20 scorpions."
@doktorj: Adult me is pretty pissed that you can't learn to dance perfectly in the span of an 80's montage.
@peterjames48: "I don't have to outrun the bear! Just you!" Wrong. Bears are so sick of that joke, they skip the slow guy and eat the fast guy now.
@SteveKoehler22: A young musician left his priceless Stradivarius violin on a train in Germany. But it was returned... no strings attached. Wait...what ?