@EwaSR: it's the silliest best thing
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@UnderTheJewFro: You can tell a lot about a person by the type of car they drive. For example, if they drive a Taxi, they're probably a cab driver.
@Diversion50: [supermarket] *Unpacks 60 items of groceries onto checkout area* CHECKOUT GIRL: I have a boyfriend. ME: Oh, OK. *slowly repacks trolley*
@moose_chocolate: "Carrie" is my favourite movie about how religious faith leads to supernatural mass murder.
@hippieswordfish: *swallows pride* *reads the label* 'this pride may contain nuts* oh no *swells with pride*