@ItsDumbTweets: It's titanic...
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@SondraDeeMe: Me:She's better than me. BF:She's not. M:Look at those, they're incredible! BF: M:STOP STARING! -Boyfriend reading other women's tweets
@TheCiscoKidder: Mom: Some stranger keeps answering your land line. Me: That's because I haven't had a land line in 7 years, Ma.
@Roohani19: Apparently, "he's an army officer" isn't the correct response to "who's your daddy".