@TheTweetOfGod: It's true what they say: shut up.
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@kelkulus: Girls hate it when you give them Christmas presents with an implied expectation, like an iron, a food processor, or knee pads.
@TheAlexNevil: 6 was jealous about other kids getting notes in their lunches, so I put one in his: "Sorry, I ate your pudding. Love, Dad."
@Mike_Bianchi: It's unfair to call me lactose intolerant when you consider what I'm willing to go through for lactose.