@TheTweetOfGod: It's true what they say: shut up.
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@internetluke: [on date] Here, let me help you with your jacket! *i gently remove her jacket* This is mine now. Cya
@weinerdog4life: I carry a bar of soap in my pocket so when someone tries to talk to me I can pull it out and say someone is paging me and leave.
@realHamOnWry: Unless you're planning to lay there shirtless in an open casket, there really is no point to killing yourself with diet and exercise.