@Mike_Bianchi: It's unfair to call me lactose intolerant when you consider what I'm willing to go through for lactose.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: Well kids, when a man and woman love each other very much, he erects a monument for her, but in his pants.
@TheDailySchmuck: Damn, girl are you Twitter? Because I can't stop staring at you and saying stupid things.
@JamesonN7: If my mother only knew the things I say on Twitter.......... I'd be sitting in the corner with a bar of soap in my mouth and grounded.
@Michael1979: If you fear that a giraffe has killed your wife and stolen her identity, these are the signs to look out for: