@fsuflores: It's unfortunate when pasta night turns into a surprise family intervention.
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@KeetPotato: [at my date's front door] wait, so you've known i was a koala the whole time? "yeah" [me clinging to her arm slowly eating a leaf] how tho?
@livingnBoston: I updated my drivers on my laptop and now I have all kinds of pop ups...thanks Microsoft!
@SardonicTart: 10: Mom what's a metaphor? Me: My life is a train wreck. 10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?
@ericsshadow: If your girlfriend says she's going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall... You might be dating my wife.