@fsuflores: It's unfortunate when pasta night turns into a surprise family intervention.
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@bornmiserable: POLICE: [on bullhorn] PLEASE COME DOWN, EVERYTHING'S FINE ME: [yelling down from ledge] ARE YOU SERIOUS HAVE YOU WATCHED THE NEWS AT ALL
@SureYouDo1: For your anniversary, if your wife asks for something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds...don't get her a bathroom scale. Nope.