@mikeleffingwell: It's weird how after they couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together the King's men were like "Let's give the horses a shot at it"
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@hippieswordfish: 'welcome to subway how can i-' ME:*punches counter*WHY DOES THE KOOL-AID MAN CARRY A SMALLER PITCHER OF KOOL-AID 'sir-' M: IS IT HIS PISS
@ibid78: Birds do it, bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let's do it, let's fly headfirst into a plate glass window.
@ReelQuinn: I wear a ski mask to bed so if there's a home invasion the intruder will think I'm part of the team.