@Bagyants: It's weird how in England the passenger drives the car
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@Robski_Boy: Sorry Siri, talking to machines is not for me. I still get tongue-tied at the drive-through.
@onion_an: [1st day as criminal sketch artist] Victim: He was blonde had blue eyes, he was about 6ft t.... Me: I'm gonna need a longer sheet of paper
@Girl_Censored: I'm not a jealous person but seriously, if you star her tweets one more time I'm going to squeeze the balls of this vodoo doll so hard...