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@theDanLawler: It's weird how many of my ancestors were sepia-toned.
@ThePocketJustin: If you pretend you're skimming you can straight up throw rocks at people.
@TheRobCee: [labels account "18+"]
[tweets exclusively about voting & buying cigarettes legally]
@KalvinMacleod: VILLIAN: all this money is mine
BANK TELLER: help us Velcroman, he’s getting away
VELCROMAN: *stuck to the floor* who puts carpet in a bank?
@SteveDutzy: THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS TO ALL THE BROS ON INSTAGRAM WHO CAN'T AFFORD SHIRTS
@JamieGreenlees: A colleague asked me "what's wrong?", and that's a month of her life she won't get back!