@theDanLawler: It's weird how many of my ancestors were sepia-toned.
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@JH_Moncrieff: "I don't understand...we're a grocery store. Do we really need an editor on staff?" Yes. Yes, you do.
@OtherDanOBrien: Tomi Lahren is pretty confident for a person whose first and last names are both misspelled
@TheToddWilliams: [boss's office] I'm tired of staff that think they know everything! Do you know what I mean, Murray? "No, sir" I like your style, Murray.
@Phook75: The upside to having kids is how you're able to use them as an excuse to cancel unwanted plans