@PinkCamoTO: It's weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."
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@SoVeryBritish: Procedure for being unthanked for door holding: 1. Keep eyes fixed on culprit 2. Say you're welcome 3. Shake head 4. Mutter "unbelievable"
@mattZillaaaa: [on a 1st date] Me: I'm just looking to take things slow Her: *in a wedding dress* me too
@bourgeoisalien: Sad that 25 years ago Homer Simpson seemed like a looser in American culture and now it's like: "Whoa...that guy has a job AND owns a home?"