@PinkCamoTO: It's weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."
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@hansabumsadaisy: #rubbishjokes Watched all Star Wars movies back to back with my friend. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
@LackOfShame: Women, when you say: "We should move into a better house." A man hears: "My plan is to force you to work till the day you die."
@momopface: WANTED: Someone to follow me around and whisper "You're an adult" every few minutes.
@Crutnacker: Biden: I took a Staples red button & wrote "Nukes" on it Obama: Joe! Biden: Tweets to him in Russian when pressed