@PinkCamoTO: It's weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."
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@Marlebean: I don't mean to sound racist, but why do all Chinese food takeout boxes look the same?
@iinkedZombie: Wife: "Oh my God! You really ONLY hear what you want!" Me: "Thanks! I've been working out!"
@TheMichaelRock: All I did was compliment a coworker on their fantastic mustache, and now I'm in HR's office. Thanks a lot, Megan!