@PanicRestroom: It's weird how opposites attract, like red wine & a new shirt
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@KeetPotato: co-pilot: "ask in a way that won't panic everyone" pilot: "ok" [via intercom] "is there a fireman on the plane?"
@mexinonblonde: *jumps on stage and snatches up mic and screams* LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR, LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR! *gets escorted out of church*
@aveuaskew: When my evening plans are ruined, I pay it forward by texting "I'm pregnant" to random numbers.