@ChrisIsJoking: It's weird they report fantasy football during Sports Center. That's like the local news telling us how your SimCity is doing.
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@TheWadest: Don't EVER let anyone tell you you're not worth anything. You can get at least ten grand for one of your kidneys.
@anildash: Eventually one of these Republican congressmen is going to find out his daughter is a woman, and then we're all set.
@eXentRic_: Holy Communion: PRIEST:"This is the body of Christ. Take it " ME:"Uum,can I instagram it first?" *We laughed & then I was excommunicated*