@patrickoriley: It's weird to think there was a time when the most data a tablet could hold was five commandments.
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@WilliamAder: Every year on Valentine's Day, I put a smile on my wife's face by taking down the Christmas tree.
@MattMcC1: YOU CAN'T BUY HOT POCKETS YOU CAN ONLY BUY COLD POCKETS YOU ARE EXPECTED SUPPLY THE HEAT YOURSELF DONT BELIEVE THE LIES.
@Jake_Vig: I wish people would move over a bit in their selfies. We're redecorating a bathroom and looking for ideas.
@Dani_Feld: A man accidentally made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind. And now, we wait...