@mugkip: i've always struggled spelling out "blood" with my fingers because it always comes out looking like "bbool"
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@Chumpstring: [airport] SON: can i yell bomb? DAD: no. SON: hijack? DAD: nope. SON: how about shitballer? DAD: uh yeah i guess but please don't.
@CornOnTheGoblin: cop: we found your wife with a knife in her back me: that doesn't sound like her, she never kept a knife there
@heatherlou_: Google just alerted me to light traffic in my area which is odd because I'm in the bathtub.
@ShoutingGoddess: There is a 'you can kill them if you catch them within a minute' rule on people who wake you up. EVERYONE knows that. *sharpening knife*