@P1ssed_K1d: I've always wanted to buy 2 coffees, take them to a crime scene & while handing 1 to the officer in charge ask, "So, what do we have here?"
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@LetsQuoteComedy: In 1000 years, archaeologists will find tanning beds and think we fried people as punishments.
@deardilettante: I am literally the only one at this baby shower who turned up with champagne & a coat hanger.
@batkaren: ROBOT: You cannot defeat us ENGLISH TEACHER: Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard? ROBOT: [twitch, spark]