@P1ssed_K1d: I've always wanted to buy 2 coffees, take them to a crime scene & while handing 1 to the officer in charge ask, "So, what do we have here?"
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@thebeavs: When God was handing out obstacles I thought he said popsicles and said I'll take one of each variety.
@1Happytwit: You don't need to use your words if you're carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.
@huntigula: why pay kristen stewart millions of dollars when a cardboard cutout of kristen stewart will give the exact same performance for free
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Babies are like tattoos. They're yours forever and maybe wait a few days before posting pictures of them so they're not all gross looking.