@SamuelHLowe: I've always wanted to buy 2 coffees, take them to a crime scene & while handing 1 to the officer in charge ask, "So, what do we have here?"
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@famouscrab: u know how sum people get amnesia well i got opposite amnesia i remember everything ask me what i ate this morning. breakfast next question
@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: "Your resume says you're paranoid." Me: "My resume has been talking behind my back?"
@MissNaughty1801: Him: you are correcting my every word for the last six years of our marriage Me: for the last 7 years