@AmandasNotFunny: I've always wanted to walk into a large room and be the most beautiful woman in there. But I'm scared of Walmarts :(
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@Merman_Melville: At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die
@theNuzzy: After my tweet conversation with you, I delete everything I wrote so you look like a crazy stalker.
@Ilovelamp1979: Every idiot in Florida just turned on their electric heater & they crashed the grid. Now I'm forced to watch my neighbor sleep in the dark.
@MrIceMachine: Happy imagery of the day: A mouse dressed as a pirate sits on your shoulder while you work and pretends to steer you holding a potato-chip.