@DomBorrett: Grandma: 'And that's how me and your grandfather chose the colour of toaster in our first home'
Me: 'So you haven't seen my scarf?'
@InternetHippo: arya: so good to be back home with the sister i havent seen in 5 years & thought was dead
sansa: yeah it’s—
arya: i am going to murder you
@UniqueDude2: Teens: I was an idiot when I was a kid
20s: I was an idiot when I was a teen
30s: I was an idiot in my 20s
33: if only there was a pattern
@christinaloca: Me: I’m an atheist. Nothing is on purpose. Nihilism 4eva
Also me: *sees my birthday numbers anywhere* this is a sign.
@squirrel74wkgn: She says, the kids want to go to the circus.
I say, that I just saved us $400 by jumping out of the kid's closet wearing a clown costume.
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