@CorkyCrash: I've become obsessed with the idea that Jesus was a terrible guitarist but no one told him to stop because they were afraid of his dad.
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@simoncholland: My wife didn't post an essay thanking our kids for making her a mom on Facebook and now child services is on the way.
@Jacksawyerr: If I could be any super hero I'd be The Flash, but instead of wearing his costume I'd wear a trench coat. Same name, different purpose.