@KenJennings: I've been at this elementary school talent show for half an hour and I've already heard "Shake It Off" 137 times.
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@WilliamAder: Doctor: Did you take those pills I gave you last month? Me: The package said "Take on an empty stomach" so, not yet.
@TheDjinnTrials: A fortune cookie told me I'd receive an important message soon. The message in the bottle told me the fortune cookie was poisoned.
@BurgerKing: IF UR DATING SOMEONE AND THEY GIVE YOU GOOSEBUMPS BUT THEY DON’T GIVE YOU FRIES WHY ARE YOU TOGETHER?