@LoveNLunchmeat: I've been Catholic for years and still have no idea which murders I should confess and which I should keep to myself.
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@MatCro: [Starbucks Assassins Inc] CHIEF: Write this down. Target's name is John BARISTA: [writes] Jamie C: Ok. Memorise it B: [eyes shut] Janet
@Aspersioncast: My doctor said I shouldn't hug people, admittedly it was 10 years ago when I had the flu but I still use that one.
@myonlymizztake: *Buys Samsung smart fridge. Opens app every 15 minutes to see if there's anything good in there*