@iGreenMonk: I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. Honest, I only meant to rough him up a bit.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GaryJanetti: Thanks for the holiday photo! I can't believe your little girls are already unhappy, overweight teenagers!
@Reverend_Scott: [1692 Salem] "BURN THE WITCH" U HAVE A CROOKED NOSE, WITCH "No, Frank, at the stake" [quickly lighting torch] Right, I knew that.
@therealeatwood: KING ARTHUR: …and that is our noble quest. REPORTER: K, great. What shape is your table? A: Um, round? But that’s not really… R: Got it