@iGreenMonk: I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. Honest, I only meant to rough him up a bit.
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@BrentTerhune: Just made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
@pippydrydocking: If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don't be open.
@DanMentos: [grabs mic during TED Talk] They're towing a BMW in the parking lot *crowd goes apeshit*