@AdderallMomma: I've been contemplating legally changing my name to 'An End', so that all good things must come to me.
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@AmericanGent69: Online dating rule: If we meet up offline, and you look nothing like your pictures, then you're buying me drinks until you do.
@RoosterMustache: God: make alcohol really fun Angel: haha ok God: but it makes them stupid Angel: i dont know if- God: and if they have too much they die
@tsm560: Her: About last night, please understand that wasn't me... that was the wine. Me: ... Her: ... Me: Do you have a phone number for that wine?
@UniqueDude2: [dinosaur naming committee] TERRY: and we will call the flying one the Terodactyl PTERRY: I've got a crazy idea