@AdderallMomma: I've been contemplating legally changing my name to 'An End', so that all good things must come to me.
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@jordan_stratton: Nice try, horror movies, but the scariest thing I've ever seen is still a 4-year-old holding a sharpie without the cap.
@Dishy2101: Just stepped on the scale. Now I have to replace a broken window and add $467 to the curse word jar.
@Merman_Melville: (Someone finally shuts off a car alarm) Philip Glass: (sticks head out of apartment window above) HEY I WAS LISTENING TO THAT
@RexHuppke: Interestingly, if we invade North Korea because it caused us to miss a movie, that still won't be the worst reason we ever went to war.