@AdderallMomma: I've been contemplating legally changing my name to 'An End', so that all good things must come to me.
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@mstern68: [Interview] Me: I really need the paycheck Him: This is an unpaid internship. Me: Do you provide snacks? Him: Um, yes Me: Keep going...
@dubstep4dads: JIM: I've got an idea. Let's call this place "Jimadelphia" [PHIL is creeping up from behind with a crowbar]
@huntigula: fun prank: go observe the newborns at the hospital & if someone asks which is yours say "I haven't decided yet" while sobbing uncontrollably
@moxieblogger: I use proper syntax and punctuation on all of my tweets, unless I am in danger of exceeding the 140 character limit... & then u no how it b