@JordanPeele: I've been dating a girl online who I think might be a Catfish. Every time I try to meet, her excuse is that she "can't survive on dry land."
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@thenatewolf: Mechanic: you need a new carburetor Me: you can call it a buretor, I know lots about cars, I'm like you
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Surprise parties for Lindsey Lohan probably have that "Intervention-y" feeling at first.
@Test_of_Steron: Copied tweets with higher no. of RTs remind me of tht incident when Charlie Chaplin entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest n came 3rd.
@ExtraGrumpyCat: 4/20 = National Weed Day 4/21 = National Drug Testing Day 4/22 = National Unemployment Day