@JordanPeele: I've been dating a girl online who I think might be a Catfish. Every time I try to meet, her excuse is that she "can't survive on dry land."
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@IanKarmel: 22 year old me after a night of drinking: "I hope I didn't do anything stupid." 29 year old me: "I hope I didn't agree to go on a hike."
@laffytakky: In the past hour I've dropped my phone and my computer. Let me hold your crying baby.
@Jennarater: Fish don't seem that stupid to me. If a burrito dropped out of the sky and hung in mid-air I would probably eat it.