@JordanPeele: I've been dating a girl online who I think might be a Catfish. Every time I try to meet, her excuse is that she "can't survive on dry land."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@justabloodygame: Lmao at people who 'play Devil's advocate' like Lucifer doesn't already own all the lawyers.
@HireMeImFunny: Rededicate Christopher Columbus statues to the Chris Columbus who directed Mrs. Doubtfire
@david8hughes: Wife: can you change the baby Me: oh thank god. I'm so glad you said that. Yes, yes I will Wife: I don't mean swap it for a new one Me: ...
@funnyordie: Shouts out to the Trump Tower suction cup guy for being the second craziest person to ascend that building.