@IamDrainBamaged: I've been dieting for 2 weeks now and so far I lost 5 Instagram followers.
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@jwoodham: Don't listen to people who tell you not to stay up late. They're just trying to trick you into being a well-rested person who isn't anxious.
@TheTweetOfGod: You know how when you're in sixth grade and you love someone you express it by being mean and throwing rocks at them? That's Me. I love you.
@alldrolledup: One of my favorite things about kids is that you only have to feed them once a week