@IamDrainBamaged: I've been dieting for 2 weeks now and so far I lost 5 Instagram followers.
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@hero_ofthenight: If I worked at Starbucks I'd pull a Napoleon Dynamite every time. "I see you're drinking 2%, is that because you think you're fat?"
@brandynwiththey: I'm glad Pitbull always announces his name right away so I know when to turn the radio off.