@chagger73: I've been divorced so long I've almost forgotten how to clear a computer history.
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@vikkaroni: You're never too old to throw random shit in people's shopping carts when they aren't looking.
@thesulk: I think Sandra Bullock chooses movies based solely on the number of times she can say "Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"
@jeffreyvanclea1: if a cop ever asks me to count from 100 backwards ..i just get in the back seat
@DaddyJew: Son: you have a gray hair Me: it's a badge of honor Son: *looks at head* whoa, you're like some sort of super soldier Me: go to your room