@osigat: <- I've been drinking for almost 6 hours. If you see something wash up on shore that looks like this, please identify me.
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@TheMichaelRock: If we have learned anything from the Friday the 13th movies, it's that Jason mainly kills people having sex. Most of you should be good.
@ruinedpicnic: parents, think twice before dressing your child as Cecil the Lion this year. my son will be dressed as a dentist, and I gave him a real gun
@EndhooS: [Commercial for babies] *100 year old woman trying to feed a brick a bottle of milk* "There's got to be a better way"
@mommy_cusses: Instructor: Welcome to our Summer with Kids Preparedness class. Our first lesson is how to apply sunscreen. Everyone grab an angry raccoon.