@zapmyass: I've been eating healthy for six whole hours now. Why am I still fat?
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@gm_cage: My 8 yr old son just told me Nutella is a delicious mix of nuts and umbrellas. He's ready for Twitter.
@EJT___: I wanted a 6 pack, so I started Hip Hop abs. Quit 1/3 of the way through. Ended up with a 2Pac.
@Karate_Horse: A fun thing to do is take a group picture at a party. Then leave & print it at Walgreens. Buy a frame & place it on the mantel at the party.