@zapmyass: I've been eating healthy for six whole hours now. Why am I still fat?
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@curlycomedy: I like when players of opposite teams hug after the game as if to say, "We're all so very, very rich."
@murfer28: I don't want to lock my account because I like to help my X's feel better about themselves when they check in & make sure I'm still a drunk.
@Matt_The_1st: "What's wrong with our country?" OBAMA! "Who are we going to reelect in 2012?" OBAMA!