@HeyZeus666: I've been eating sunflower seeds and Tweeting for 9 hours. Now I know what my canary feels like.
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@Tmoney68: Led Zeppelin's "In My Time Of Dying" is my favorite song about a man with a touch of a cold.
@TheTobbie: My mind: "Today was a productive day." My body: "Please don't drink 11 cups of coffee again."...
@BadMikeyBad: Thanks to SnapChat filters I'm now sexually attracted to girl rabbits, bats, and cocker spaniels