@JimmerThatisAll: I've been getting fewer and fewer new followers but I'll be damned if I'm going to tweet something good just because some people have taste.
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@thatdutchperson: Cashier: what's with all the pineapple juice? Me: *winks* -Spends the night making delicious umbrella drinks with my cat.
@McAttack88: Is it wrong to follow people just because they're hot? Also, what about on Twitter?
@stuckinaportal: *army rises out of ball pit* dark lord: whose bright idea was it to put the portal here? [they point to bob] dark lord: you the man, bob
@ag_loco: How to keep a man happy: 1) Phone him 86 times a day 2) Wail hysterically 3) Be needy 4) Never sleep with him 5) Buy yourself shoes