@WilliamAder: I've been hearing noises in the house for a while now and while Twitter was down last night I discovered I have a wife!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Got a hot date this weekend? Coworker: Ummm...no. Me: I know. I was just reminding you. Coworker....
@Swishergirl24: Officer: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: pass Officer: have you been drinking? Me: pass Officer: You can't just keep.. Me: pass