@WilliamAder: I've been hearing noises in the house for a while now and while Twitter was down last night I discovered I have a wife!
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@rockymomax: HER: I have something I want to tell u ME: me too HER: *smiles coyly* same time? ME: sure HER: 1,2,3 I LOVE YO- ME: ONE TIME I ATE DOG FOOD
@leechee420: A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn't know it was even possible to be this jealous.
@lizard_wizard77: “i cnat believe this!” he yells as his beard of bees turns on him. “i would expect this from the others but not u” he says to 1 specific bee